Be Your Bold Self

BE YOUR BOLD SELF

That is my mantra these days. Within every person there are "multiple" personalities. That's not to say that we are all Sybils waiting to be taken to a mental institution. It simply means that we are constantly having an inner dialogue with ourselves in every little thing we do.

I'm usually a more reserved person. Not necessarily shy, just someone who's content to sit back and watch things unfold before her. Often, when I am in an uncomfortable situation, this is the dialogue that goes on in my brain:

They are going to laugh at you if you say anything.
No, they won't, they'll love me.
I bet your face is going to turn red.
Be quiet or you'll jinx it!
Why don't you just don't and say you did.
If you just get it over with, you'll be happier!
You're not pretty enough to go in there.
You're just as pretty as they are. Go in!
Remember what a nerd you are.
You're not the nerd you used to be.

Etc.

Getting ready to compete in the pageant has given me many opportunities to step out of my comfort zone (not something I enjoy doing on a regular basis) and I've had to stuff my insecure, whiney self into the corner each time. My bold self is the one who has confidence (or at least, fakes it really well) and has the ability to talk to anyone. My bold self is a Size 4 (I wish the rest of me was!), and she doesn't care what people think of her. My bold self knows she can accomplish anything and won't let anyone stand in her way.

I love my bold self, but unfortunately, my insecure self usually wins over and that's who I am most of the time. I'm hoping that through this pageant experience, and all the practice I've been getting of changing my comfort zone, will give my bold self a better foot hold in my psyche.

Be Your Bold Self!